Your Body Isn't the Problem, but Here's What Is

One of the most common struggles my clients and the women I support on social media have is the fear of weight gain. So, if this is you, you're not alone. 

It makes perfect sense that so many are afraid of weight gain. I want to be clear that fear of weight gain can happen to people of any size. If you're in a smaller body you likely want to stay that way and if you're in a larger body, you may even fear it more. 

Some reasons why this is a common concern (this list is not exhaustive):

  • People in larger bodies are pathologized and seen as a problem to be "fixed". 

  • Weight gain, even when done for medical reasons like weight restoration, is usually noticed and is often a popular topic of conversation because our culture is obsessed with body size!

  • Clothing options in terms of sizes, styles, and availability often become more limited.

  • Fight travel is often a challenge and may be more expensive.

  • Finding a weight-neutral or HAES practitioner isn't easy so weight stigma is rampant.

  • People make automatic assumptions about people in larger bodies, especially in terms of fitness levels, overall health, love life, etc. 

  • Fitting in (literally and figuratively) challenges our sense of belonging which is a basic human need. 

The truth is while all these concerns are 100% valid, there is still nothing wrong with your body as it is right now. 

Here's what IS wrong:

  • That our culture discriminates against certain body sizes, especially aging bodies! 

  • Our societal beliefs that there is one acceptable way to have a body and that they aren't supposed to change are rooted in a cascade of oppressive societal norms like patriarchy and racism. 

  • That there is a magical formula to manifest the desired weight, size, and shape and that if we just tried hard enough, we'd have it. 

  • That punitive behaviors like food restriction, compulsive exercise, and beating ourselves up for the sake of maintaining weight or looking a certain way regardless of the negative health outcomes are celebrated instead of questioned.

Here's what can be done to navigate this to experience peace:

  • Understand that the diet and beauty industries are billion-dollar non-stop machines whose sole purpose is to make us feel like 'less than' or 'not enough' so we'll keep investing in them instead of in our true selves. 

  • Stay rooted in your WHY. Remember why you left dieting (a.k.a undereating) behind in the first place and all the challenges associated with it. 

  • Take time to reflect on the many gifts that food freedom and body liberation offer you daily. If you're a newbie, wait for it because you'll start feeling it soon enough. 

  • Continue to do a cost/benefit analysis. Ask yourself what is the emotional and physical cost of going back to restrictive behaviors vs. what are the benefits of staying on the freedom trail. 

  • If you are managing a chronic illness or are fearful about your long-term health due to your weight, remember that correlation doesn't prove causation. Research has shown over and over again that consistent self-care practices including gentle nutrition, movement, stress management, sleep, the way you define 'success', tending to mental health, etc. often have profound positive effects on our long-term health regardless of weight. 

  • Learn how to feel the feelings of discomfort that often drive people back to restrictive behaviors. When we learn to feel, we slowly begin to neutralize these overwhelming feelings that something is wrong with our bodies.


That's why getting support from those specifically trained in this work, being part of body-positive communities, and continuing to lean into the discomfort is important. 

The truth is, you're on the right path and just because it may not always feel that way, those doubtful feelings will pass. As I often say, keep your eye on the prize which is FREEDOM and SUSTAINABILITY. 

Remember, you don't have to do this alone. Support makes all the difference!