Why Self-Love Alone Isn’t the Answer to Body Acceptance

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Many women I support tell me they still want to lose weight or change their bodies even though they have no desire to return to dieting. ⁣

It's quite a conundrum, isn't it?

Some even feel shameful about it and think that it speaks to their lack of commitment to this self-discovery process. ⁣

I feel differently. I think it would be unnatural for someone who has been dieting for decades trying to be/stay in a smaller body and/or who has experienced the body changes that often accompany midlife/menopause or any other life change to think anything differently. After all, we are human, and the systematic influences of diet culture prevent us from feeling comfortable and safe in our bodies.

Let's face it, all the self-love, self-compassion, and knowledge about diet culture don't fully shield us from influences of fatphobia, fat stigma, ageism, sexism, homophobia, ableism, etc.

Even though every step we take to radically and unapologetically love our bodies in each season of our life deserves to be celebrated, unless we dismantle these oppressive systems, we will not feel safe, nor can we freely exist in our bodies as we are.

However, when we remind ourselves that there is nothing wrong with our bodies, our wrinkles, our sexual preferences, etc. and instead understand what is making us feel there is a "right" way to exist in this world without feeling unsafe and not enough, then we can be free to live our lives more unapologetically.

May we all realize that our bodies do not define us. We live in our bodies but they are simply a shell or vessel for our beautiful souls to reside temporarily. We care for these vessels so we can experience the fulfillment of carrying out our true callings on this wonderful planet Earth, but one day our physical bodies will cease to exist. However, I believe our souls will live on forever.

The next time you are critically gazing at yourself in the mirror, pinching a belly roll, or comparing your body to someone else's on social media, remember the way you feel is not because of anything that you've done wrong. Instead, remember that it's the oppressive systems that are in place that are making you feel this way.

  • May we all fall deeper in love with ourselves every single day.

  • May we remind others that these oppressive systems are always at work so we can lift each other up instead of judging ourselves and others.

  • May we all continue to work toward dismantling these oppressive systems to help ourselves and those who come after us.

Please give yourself a hug! You deserve it!

Post inspired by @iamchrissyking