Q: Is it possible to intentionally work towards losing weight while intuitively eating?
A: Isn't this the million-dollar question?
One of my followers was being stigmatized by her doctor to lose weight for "medical" reasons asked me this question in the No Diet Sisterhood. In truth, I get this question a lot and read it often on social media.
You've probably guessed it, but the answer is NO, and here's why.
Based on my extensive and ongoing (let's hear it for life-long learners!) professional training as a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor and body image coach and from my decades-long battle with food, I can say with certainty that intentional weight loss clouds judgment and prevents people from eating according to their body's cues because they fear it will affect their weight.
When intentional weight loss is the goal, choices are made based on caloric/macro/micro content, etc., and not on the body's cues. Since intuitive eating is all about giving ourselves full permission to eat so that we can discern what foods feel best in our bodies, etc. making intentional weight loss a part of this process is not intuitive. If weight loss happens naturally as a result of listening to the body, that's entirely different.
While a foundational goal of intuitive eating is to become more flexible with eating, another is also to do so in accordance with one's hunger/fullness cues, satisfaction, digestion, etc. The principles can seem fundamental to the naked eye, but when it comes to actually integrating them into everyday life, they can get quite emotionally complex. This is why so many fall back into diet mentality and don't even realize it. This is especially true when people are stigmatized and told to lose weight for "medical" reasons.
The belief that you need to lose weight to be healthy isn't valid and the Health At Every Size (HAES) movement is based on this research. Whenever intentional weight loss is the goal there is restriction. Bingeing and eating for comfort (aka "emotional" eating) often increases when there is even the slightest detection of restriction. So whether there is emotional restriction (guilt, worry, shame, rules, etc.) or physical restriction (counting, "forbidden" food, etc.) disordered behaviors around food will continue. There is just no way around and if you're like most of us who have struggled with food for some time, your history reflects this.
While higher weights may be correlated with certain illnesses, they are not necessarily the cause of them. Fat activist Ragen Chastain breaks down the research on this often in her blog Dances with Fat.
Beware. There are many who are trying to co-opt intuitive eating and turn it into another weight loss plan or "lifestyle". If you are following any intuitive eating professional who is even hinting that you will lose weight with intuitive eating or is saying that [X] type of exercise will change your body shape/size, or giving specific instructions about "healthy" vs. "unhealthy" foods, unfollow them as they will do more harm than good for you.
Intuitive eating (and HAES) is not and never will be about weight loss. True intuitive eating is about healing a relationship with food, body image and rediscovering movement that's not tied to weight loss. Period.
Struggling with this? I bet coaching can help! Let's connect for a FREE connection call so you can get the support you need and stop struggling so much.
Navigating Life's Uncertainties During Middle-Age
I don't talk about this a lot, but I'm smack in the middle of middle-age. And, in full transparency, I don't always like it. Sometimes it makes me feel really insecure and frightened. Other times I celebrate it because someone with less life experience will come to me asking for advice (or just to confide in or hold space for them in a non-judgmental way) when they're struggling and I can usually help them.
One of the most challenging parts of middle-age is that we become more aware that life is uncertain. The truth is, life has always been uncertain but many of us don't wake up to this fact until later in life.
In my effort to feel more comfortable with uncertainty, sometimes I ponder about the things in my life that are certain. You know, the things I can count on no matter what.
Here is my short list of things that make me feel better when things feel a little out of control and I need something to ground myself. I've shared many of these things during client sessions, when it seemed applicable, and my clients have gotten some relief from them. Perhaps you will too. Here goes:
Honoring our bodies - The more often we tune-in to ask our bodies what they need, the better they are likely to function physically, emotionally and spiritually.
Be mindful - The more we live in the moment and stop lamenting over what was (specifically about our weight, size, foods we ate and/or didn't eat), the less stress and regret we'll experience in our lives now.
Compassion - The more self-compassionate we are to ourselves, the more likely we are to adopt healthier behaviors.
Permission - The more permission we give ourselves to be who we are (at any shape or weight), eat what we truly desire to eat, wear what we like wherever we like, and share time on Earth with people we love, the more fulfilling our lives will be.
Movement - The more we move our bodies in ways that feel good instead of for reasons that may just make us look "good", the more sustainable and joyful the movement will be.
Boundaries - The more healthy boundaries we establish, the more often our needs will be met, which usually translates to less overall frustration.
Comparison - The less we compare, the less we'll despair.
Purpose- The more we acknowledge that our presence on Earth is necessary and that we serve a higher purpose, even if we don't know what it is right now, the easier it will be to discover what our true purpose is.
Acceptance - The more we accept life on its terms and stop trying to change and/or manipulate the outcomes (including weight, size and shape) the more at peace we'll be.
Gratitude - The more grateful we are, the more things we'll notice we can be grateful to have.
I'm curious, what kinds of things help to ground you when you're feeling uncertain about your life?
How do life's uncertainties affect your relationship with food and body?
If you're tired of battling with your weight, fed up with the cycle of yo-yo dieting, and yearning to be free from your obsessive thinking about food and your body, schedule your complimentary Embrace Anti-Diet Living Connection Session.
We’ll get clear on where you are now, what you want instead, and what might be getting in the way of your success.
I’ll also share some powerful recommendations and resources to get you started on creating a peaceful relationship with your body and food.